Maz: A Dancing Hazard

Dancing is a wonderful pastime. Whether its exercise, enjoyment, releasing tension or just having a laugh you seek, dancing may well be the answer. Now, I would say I can dance. It may not be a style recognised by many, or one that is particularly easy on the eye, but I believe that I can contort my body into sufficiently noticeable shapes, for it to be considered dancing. True, it may lack the grace and respectability of a waltz, the concentration and poise of ballet, or even the wow-factor of break dancing. But we all dance. That’s a fact.

The Marrows enjoying a dance

In Brazil, being able to dance well is a serious asset, both to your social standing and your chances with the fairer sex. Surprising though it may seem, I am not talking about flailing limbs endangering those around you, or when, in seeking new levels of originality, you end up incorporating a marriage proposal into your routine and end up having to apologise to the girl in question. No, I am talking about the irresistible allure of skilful hip movement, a man who oozes detestable flair, or the downright arrogance of two intertwined bodies moving effortlessly across the room. That is the dancing that is sought after here. Self-deprecation is not a trait admired by many; dedication and genuine talent are far more preferable.

As you can imagine, this has left me in a bit of an awkward situation. Do I take the easy option and continue to prance around like a plonker, or attempt to hone my skills, despite the Brazilians having had a lifetime of a head start? I have, of course, attempted to improve, watching videos and listening to advice from amused onlookers, but it has not been easy. For one thing, there are several different styles. From samba to forró, frevo to carimbo, the list is seemingly endless. All are unique and you have to learn accordingly, although they all seem to involve violent hip and foot movement that should be beyond the capabilities of a lumbering buffoon such as myself. Here are the few Brazilian dances I have come across:

Samba

This is a dance and genre of music that has become synonymous with Brazil. It has become such a recognisable part of the country's identity that you will probably have seen images of flamboyantly dressed samba dancers to do with almost everything Brazilian. Samba first appeared in my life only in musical form, when I used to play in a Brazilian drumming group at school. Becoming accustomed to the infectious beat of the 'surdo', the characteristic call of the 'repinique' and the patter of the 'tamborim', does not take long.

Probably the sort of thing you've seen before 

However, dancing samba has been considerably more challenging. During carnaval, it was everywhere. As far as I can tell, the aim of samba is to move your hips as fast as you possibly can. I usually end up just shaking my entire body or spasming out of control, which only serves to entertain, or perhaps irritate, the locals. There is foot movement involved, but mastering this art is rendered almost impossible by the flip-flop, sadly my footwear of choice during the festivities. That, alas, is my best excuse.

"Where's the wally?" (Jazzzone Brazilian Bateria)

Forró

Forró is the dance that I have worked hardest at. It is a dance for lovers, which immediately makes it far more awkward than most others. Also, it is male-led, which is a nightmare for me. Leading a dance when you don’t have the faintest idea what you’re doing is rather tricky. Whilst maintaining very close contact, you have to try and let your bodies move seamlessly together across the room, gliding your way effortlessly through the couples. In my experience, there is a lot of bumping into people, treading on my partner’s feet and endless apologising.

Unsuccessful attempt to find a dance partner (note the girl's pitying expression on the right)

There is a great club for dancing forró in Lapa, which I have been to a couple of times. Before going I always have a little stretch, not least because it is often the most exercise I get in the week. My first visit was enjoyable, but I didn’t pluck up the courage to ask a Brazilian to dance. On my second appearance, I went for it and was shot down not once, not twice, but three times. My confidence gone, I stayed with the gringos. After clearly spending a couple of hours doing it wrong, I also went home with a slight pain in my lower back, just to add insult to injury. Although maybe that should be adding injury to insult, giving the embarrassment of my earlier rejections. 

Hunched and concentrated. She must be loving it.

Capoeira

I haven’t actually tried capoeira, a kind of marshal art/ dance, just seen it a couple of times. You may remember a BBC One trail with men dressed in white trousers, performing a slow-motion ‘fight’ on a rooftop. This is capoeira. The aim is not to touch each other, but to present this rather beautiful image of floating bodies. It requires a lot of physical strength to maintain the positions and pull off all the moves. It's probably a good thing that I haven't really had the opportunity to try this one. I would no doubt end up changing this majestic dance into a fully-fledged contact sport. Better left alone. 

Capoeira on the BBC (Look out for the broadcaster saying 'goodnight' twice. It made me chuckle.)

Of course, in regular clubs, I’m back to what I’m used to. No expressions of extreme concentration or moments of awkward stumbling, just me failing to mouth the words to a song, oblivious to pretty much everything around me. But hey, as long as I'm having a good time, right?

P.S If you couldn't find me in the photo the Brazilian drumming group, I'm the moron in the rainbow shirt and the white top hat.